@crunchenhancer
She’s got a great personality!
It’s the other 6 personalities that I’m worried about….
@UtilityLimb
Programming Skills: PRIMARILY RUBY AND PYTHON BUT I CAN USE ANY TYPE OF GEM TO CONTROL ANY TYPE OF SNAKE
You Might Also Like
@crunchenhancer
@sucittaM
Ask someone if they’ll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend.
@sickipediabot
“If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open.” said the boss at my new job.
“Why do you need a door then?” I asked him.
@maxhaarhaus
Interviewer: it says here your interests include connecting people
Me: correcting people, actually
I: no it’s-
Me: i know what it says
@TheTweetOfGod
Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this.
@iLikeCatShirts
Get off my horse you stupid moon
@AubriePesky
The cashiers at the liquor store really need to start asking me for ID again. I’m not a fan them studying my fine lines above my mask like they’re the Da Vinci code before ultimately deciding I’m an old.
@prufrockluvsong
I would do anything for love. But I won’t do that. Or that. That’s not looking good either.
@primawesome
This transition of power reminds me of when my grandma turned over Thanksgiving duties to my mom and the night ended with police showing up.
@Brampersandon_
ME: *does entire national anthem with armpit farts*
WIFE: see what I mean?
THERAPIST: Mmmhmm *writes in notes: “she’s nuts. This guy rules*