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i hate this pandemic if i wanted to waste my early 20s i would have gotten married


Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols. I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle.


Costco ….

Because you never know when your
aquarium could explode ….

and you really need those 96 rolls
of paper towels.


You have no idea how many windows you have until someone is working on your gutters.


God: *making Eve from Adam’s rib*
Adam: That’s a weird way to make people
God: Lol wait till you see how she does it


If the police ask, I was in my house from 2009 to 2013.