I hate people that sit with you for hours and don’t speak, suddenly want to tell you their life story when you put in your headphones.
Props to the guy who numbered combo meals. Ordering a number four combo meal sounds a lot better than ordering a double quarter pounder meal
You Might Also Like
Imagine my dismay when I found out she wasn’t joking about owning a lie detector machine
I’m “When I get a haircut I think she cuts more hair off my ears and eyebrows than my head” years old.
Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.
Nice mustache, bro.
This pepper spray feels like no really meant no
I’m at my most fake news when I tell my husband how much money I spent shopping.
Our government needs REFORM, we need to make it ILLEGAL to put fake pockets on women’s clothing
“We’re a completely paperless office.”
Wow, that’s really cool.
[Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom]
Well this sucks.
I know it’s not on any calendar but it’s “put on clean underwear” day.