@TheBoydP: Protip: If a party guest says "I don't dance" what he's really telling you is "make my drinks stronger please".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sirmunchie: My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn't just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
@Heaterhotusus: *rage dresses *rage stomps down stairs *rage closes neighbors banging garbage can lid flapping in wind *rage stomps upstairs *rage undresses
@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?