[at the opera]
Date: this is going on forever
Me: oh, they can’t stop until I sing
#punsr PREDOMINANT: how to describe a young lady. . . before she gets married
You Might Also Like
why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here
My husband and I have dedicated to potty training our 3-year-old this weekend because apparently we haven’t challenged our marriage enough lately.
them: I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT
me: *breaking their glasses* no you won’t
the coronavirus really making people awaken their inner “A guy bought 20 watermelons” from those math problems
Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants.
Everyone heard you leaving.
Golf, except there’s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
I don’t eat dessert for dinner nearly as much as I thought I would when I was 8
Current forecast: 3-6 inches of 🔥🔥🔥🔥
*crawls seductively across bed*
*elbow gives out*