When villainy didn’t pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
*Puts on muscle shirt*
*Looks in mirror*
Maybe it takes a few minutes to kick in.
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“It’s definitely better without a condom” I say, removing it from my soup
Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn’t know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise.
Everyone dies of *something*. For example, this man is about to die from buying the last box of Thin Mints in front of me in the cookie line
“hey we use animals for literally everything else in our lives. lets use our feet for cars.” idiot flintstones. no wonder you’re extinct.
Just saw a couple jogging together and it inspired me to stay on the Internet
Biden: I think if we just leave a small-
Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired-
Obama: No booby traps, Joe
I was on my way to commit a heinous act of religiously motivated violence but then I saw a Coexist bumper sticker
Why is “silly goose” a phrase have u ever met a goose they are the most serious and powerful dinosaur lookin monsters I’ve ever encountered not one of them is silly
It surely can’t be a coincidence that Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share the same middle name