Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken.
Putting some of my hairs on the cat, just to even things out.
You Might Also Like
Forever 21 has gone bankrupt.
One more Forever that didn’t last.
I was in a band called Click Bait. You won’t believe the kind of music we recorded. Track number 5 will blow your mind.
[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
Them: So why did you guys get divorced? Did he cheat?
Me: We went to Costco on a Saturday.
I will never stop laughing at this
Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me?
*cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect*
Cop: *wiping tears* I’m over it
I was 36 before I figured out most of my dad’s advice to me was just quotes from Burt Reynolds movies.
Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don’t want to get off the couch.