Him: Wanna see my prison tats?
Her: Ooh ok I like bad boys
Him: This one *lifts shirt* is of Alcatraz. It was built in 1934 and closed in
Qui-gon: You will give me the parts
Watto: I’m immune to mind tricks
Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers?
Watto: I will give you the parts
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Cop ~ Do you know how fast you were going sir ?
Me ~ Uhhh …. Roughly about the same as you
Cop ~ Get out
Enable location? Seriously, Twitter? Have you met some of these folks?
I’ll only believe in evolution when donuts learn how to reproduce in captivity.
Word of the day – Obama. I opened a bottle of brandy and drank it Obama self.
Her: “Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I’m a sagittarius, what are you?”
Me: *halfway out the door* “Educated.”
Your face. There’s a bat for that.
Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.
A group of owls is called a flight of stares.