@DitzMcGeee: [grocery shopping]
her: ma'am, can I help you?
me: I'm just waitin for church
her: for what? ma'am are...
*produce sprinkler turns on*
me: shh! It's time, lettuce spray.
her: [bows head respectfully]
@roxiqt: Men love when you forget to wash your make-up off & wake up looking like an adorable raccoon but they don't love when you randomly wake them up with terrifying raccoon noises at 3 AM. Interesting. Very interesting.