@PaperWash: *quietly tries to open a bag of chips during a bank robbery*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveKoehler22: Just saved a guy from drowning by throwing him a CVS receipt as a lifeline. He also gets 25% off his next rescue.
@KimJongSean: The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed
@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.