@pittdave13: Quit doubting my abilities, I can drive with one hand and crash the car with the other...
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@brichie13: "Donatello choose ur weapon" "I'll take a stick" "Really not a sword? Nunchu.." "A STICK" "Ha I guess u wanna wear purple too?" "..." "Ugh"
@Ygrene: Son: [excited] dad, I just signed up for a triathlon Dad: [sighing, doesn’t look up from newspaper] well let me know when you sign up for a winathlon
@LostCatDog: You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.
@pleatedjeans: [Shark Tank] an armadillo clock that rolls away so you gotta get up to turn off the alarm Sounds dum- It's called the Alarmadillo OMG SOLD