@NicestHippo
[my first day working on The Avengers set]
*leans over to Joss Whedon*
I hear this Josh Sweden guy is a real dork
@ComicsHey
[rap battle]
mc: [finishing up] …yeah my kid died let’s hear you rap about that
oompa loompa: [deep breath]
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@NicestHippo
@bfrosty04
I’m gonna go out on a limb and declare ‘Drugs’ the winner of the war on drugs.
@capnwatsisname
[running into my ex while shopping]
Me, under my breath: smooth peanut butter, smh. dodged a bullet there.
Her, to the dolls riding in my cart: hello Cynthia. Anne.
@cravin4
What ever happened to simple filters like Black and white or Sepia? Now I need to choose from Funfetti Hufflepuff or Pixie Rave Donkey Punch.
@DannyZuker
“No woman, no cry.” – Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.
@AndyRichter
At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don’t know why they’re giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit
@KissabiX
[sees a lion and a witch come out of a wardrobe]
Me: what have you been up to in there?
Lion: Narnia business
@itsAndoh
Essential oils are what drips out of tacos.
@outragel
For my 19000 tweet? A joke…
@HeyHosey
Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs w[ESC]