@ComicsHey

[rap battle]

mc: [finishing up] …yeah my kid died let’s hear you rap about that

oompa loompa: [deep breath]

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@NicestHippo

[my first day working on The Avengers set]
*leans over to Joss Whedon*
I hear this Josh Sweden guy is a real dork

@bfrosty04

I’m gonna go out on a limb and declare ‘Drugs’ the winner of the war on drugs.

@capnwatsisname

[running into my ex while shopping]

Me, under my breath: smooth peanut butter, smh. dodged a bullet there.

Her, to the dolls riding in my cart: hello Cynthia. Anne.

@cravin4

What ever happened to simple filters like Black and white or Sepia? Now I need to choose from Funfetti Hufflepuff or Pixie Rave Donkey Punch.

@DannyZuker

“No woman, no cry.” – Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.

@AndyRichter

At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don’t know why they’re giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit

@KissabiX

[sees a lion and a witch come out of a wardrobe]

Me: what have you been up to in there?

Lion: Narnia business

@HeyHosey

Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs walked into a bar.
Two animated gifs w[ESC]