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Raspberry buy guitar
Raspberry take lessons
Raspberry answer ad
Raspberry show up at drummer’s house
Raspberry plug in
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Wow, what amazing teeth! May I have a closer look?
~ Red Riding Hood, seconds before realising that forgetting to wear her spectacles wasn’t the only mistake she’d make that day.
[Romeo and Juliet as turtles]
ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath
JULIET: I’m just stuck on my back
R: we’re turtles, Juliet
If you didn’t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
Somebody spiked my ice water with 14 glasses of champagne last night
Pretty woman wouldn’t have been as sweet of a love story if we saw all the times she sucked c**k for money weeks prior.
THERAPIST: what’s wrong?
WIFE: he makes us watch Gladiator every single day!
ME: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Someone’s just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries, but still.
The perennially hyped name “Super Moon” insults the legacy of Superman, Super Volcanoes, Supernovae, and even Super Mario.
Apparently I need to go on a diet if I want to have room in my pockets for snacks. Why is life so hard?