@DickKingSmith: Rat warning in Hong Kong is the best rat warning of all time.
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@ThugRaccoons: Dentist: Have you been brushing twice a day? Me: *with immaculate hair* Pfft. More like five times.
@SondraDeeMe: ME: All my life I've been judged. Quit doing drugs! Don't sleep around! JUDGE: We have the murder weapon. ME: Again, with the judging.
@SardonicTart: I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus.