@Slygirl08
*Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*
You Might Also Like
@McKelvie
How did you spend your dinner break, Jamie? Just drawing a reverse centaur so everyone can see how horrible they are
@ComedicBust
*Blind Date*
Her: Ask me anything..
Me: Do you know how to properly layer nachos?
Her: Are you seri..
Me: *flips table*
@chris_isloi
Everyone keeps returning to the same hypothetical. If loving you is wrong…
Bullshit.
What if loving you is gross? That’s the question.
@jimmytorosian
Don’t drop the soap in prison because someone might steal your soap and then you will be “the dirty guy” and no one will have sex with you
@Home_Halfway
Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says “What’s up, Doc?” he’s legitimately concerned.
@jazz_inmypants
MOM: gnight ๐ sleep tight ๐ donโt let the bed bugs bite ๐
[later]
BED BUG: *tries to bite me*
ME: sorry bedbug my mom said no
BED BUG: julia said that? wow i thought she was cool
@KyleMcDowell86
[Friend] Kyle, u have to stop referring to your Ballet Club as a “gang”
[Me & my gang all do 2 pirouettes and stop in unison] “Not a chance”
@jonnysun
giv a man a fish adn he’ll say “wat is this i ordered a mcflurry”
teach a man to fish adn he’ll say “how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds”
@_Ellsie_
Yeah I can take a hint. I’m not going to though.