@neiltyson: Recent evidence indicates that Earth is indeed bi-polar, as we’ve always suspected.
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@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: Do these jeans make me look fat? Cop: You're free to go.
@SuperTeeWhy: [A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] "Son, when-" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* "Know what, we're good"
@Fatgoldfish4: I dunno if anyone else follows Play-Doh on Facebook but you should cause they're doing some serious damage control