@mrjohndarby

*releases swarm of killer wasps*

– ATTACK!

*wasps fly off harmlessly in all directions*

– Hmm… time for plan bee

You Might Also Like

@InternetHippo

everyone (crying, begging): please…you cannot be both hot and nice. just pick one
me: no

@Okeating

I didn’t take my husband’s name when I got married. I figured it’d be confusing if we were both called Keith.

@ronnui_

“I don’t want to see the movie until I read the book first” is why I’ve never watched a movie in my life

@Book_Krazy

Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking?

Me: No

B: Tell me our company policy

M: Lol, I can’t even do that when I’m sober