@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
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@VanGobot: leatherface: cmon, we're gonna be late! pinhead: *putting in one pin at a time* this doesn't just HAPPEN you know leatherface: you look fine
@flashember: WIFE: This is dumb. DAUGHTER: This is so stupid. ME: This is getting out of hand! THIS: [leaping out of my palm] I HATE YOU GUYS I'M LEAVING
@DaddyJew: 8: I want the new iPhone Me: you've never had a phone so you have to start with one of these 8: what's this? Me: 2 cans and a string