Remember, if you get dumped, it’s only because they’re looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.

You Might Also Like


There’s a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. For example, some people like when there’s pulp in their orange juice.


Learning how to say “where the hell am I?” in eight languages. Just in case.


judge: “you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?”
me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] “that’s correct”


[First Date]
HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
ME: Oh I’m not feminist at all!
ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women.


ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately!
ALBUS: I can’t control them.


“May your old acquaintances be forgotten and never brought to mind.”

-Sir Smirnoff


My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.


Cinderella, but the Prince is searching for the maiden who matches the glass thigh gap.


Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.