@WheelTod: Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph.
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@Shen_the_Bird: me: [typing] donkey kong fbi agent watching my screen: don't do it me: donkey kong no tie fbi agent: god damnit-[into radio] take him down
@Reverend_Scott: "My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am." - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car
@lovemydogduck: Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like "Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"