I am woman, hear me ignore.
“Remember Robert from work?”
Yeah..he was a douche.
WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!
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[At the job interview]
“We’re looking for a super friendly bright & bubbly person.”
“Would that be for the whole time?”
I often wish that gravity was a more selective force regarding who it kept on this planet.
Sometimes I’m playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over
Just once, I’d like to see an honest Facebook status, like “happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!”
I shaved my legs.
Well except for those three knee hairs I always miss.
Looking good Larry, Daryl and Daryl.
Why do they say “break a leg !” to actors ?
If you said “tear an ACL !” to a star athlete,
you’d be shot on the spot.
“To each their own”
Translation ~ one of us is right, and well… the other one is you.
“You’re just not enlightened enough to understand the beauty of polyamoury!”
And you’re not enlightened enough to understand just how much people in general annoy TF out of me.
ME: have you seen my briefcase?
HIM: I found it and turned it into the front desk
ME: dammit man how am I gonna carry that home now?