*sees a scene with full frontal male nudity*
*pauses for three months*
Remember: tomorrow is TOPLESS TUESDAY no matter what human resources tells you.
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I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please.
Anytime anyone says they want to see me topless I secretly hope they mean cut in half.
Sure I named my black cat Blackie and my grey cat Grey, but you need to be a little less obvious with babies. Isn’t that right, Mistake?
It won’t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn’t laugh at something.
OMG I forgot to read my horoscope and now I have no idea what life has in store for me today!!!!!!
I’ve only been eating 6 spiders instead of 8 every year so I’ll have plenty for retirement.
*somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*
As the horse fell to the barn floor,
he quickly pressed his Life Alert …
“Help…I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup !”