@bwebster76: Removing the pots and pans quietly in the morning is the adult version of Operation.
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@TheBoydP: Fact: A good beer will not lose its label after sitting in a cooler of ice water all week. Related: Why is there still beer in the cooler??
@AndrewNadeau0: HER: Hi, I’m your real estate agent. ME: It’s okay, I can tell when someone is imaginary, you can just say “estate agent”.
@Chumpstring: I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say "I'm no weirdo!" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets.