Battery falling down a hole
Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss.
“You should absolutely get rid of that monster,” said one furry, panting scientist.
You Might Also Like
the girl behind me on this 14 hr flight has brought a UKULELE and she is PLAYING IT
It’s easy to lie to people.
My phone was dead. I mailed it 2 weeks ago. Your baby is so cute.
That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I’ve ever had.
Thanks for asking me to sleep with you!
Huh. You look upset.
“Regardless of what Newton said, gravity is really just a theory that you humans choose to accept as fact. If you simply refuse to take it as a given, then the whole paradigm shifts. Anyway Brenda, if you’ve got a minute, the litter in my box could really use a change.”
For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks.
cause baby now we’ve got
you know we soaking in
so take a loofah for
cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]
before meds: *hates everything*
after meds: *feels good about hating everything*
Her: Let’s go shopping.
Me: In your dreams.
Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi.
Me: Why are we still here?
Marty McFly: *plays Nickelback*
Guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet but your kids are gonna love it.
*returns to the present to find a world without children*