@FrazzleMyGimp

[restaurant]

BRUCE BANNER: [tries to pick up a crouton with his fork]

DATE: Are you okay?

THE HULK: I’ve been better.

[restaurant]

BRUCE BANNER: [tries to pick up a crouton with his fork]

DATE: Are you okay?

THE HULK: I’ve been better.

- @FrazzleMyGimp

You Might Also Like

@AngelaEhh

I thought I wanted to get married again.

Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn’t think.

@Spaziotwat

[First day, CSI]

Inspector: “Who did the chalk outlines?”
– “Me sir”
Inspector: “Did all the victims have jazz-hands?”
– “Sir. Yes sir”

@megankcomedy

I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don’t even have to ask how I’m doing

@PaperWash

[dog on trial for murder]

lawyer: who’s a good boy?

dog: I am

lawyer: your honor I rest my case

@fro_vo

Friend: your fly is open
Me: yeah i know
Fly: it’s true i’ll try just about anything

@Darlainky

Then he told me, “Where you see only one set of footprints, that’s where I had to carry you because you drank all the water I turned into wine.”

@Thynebear

“You’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
Me: No, I’m bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room.

@sixfootcandy

My husband disappears when I’m angry at him. I haven’t seen him since 2015.