@Manda_like_wine: Results are in: a lot of people took the "never change" yearbook inscription way too seriously.
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@ArfMeasures: Therapist: What's the issue? Me: They kicked me out of Fight Club Therapist: You want to talk about it? Me: That's right
@fightforfood: The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die
@Phoebetate: I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag.
@TheToddWilliams: RABBIT HUSBAND: You look even better after a full day of work. I don't know how you do it, honey. RABBIT WIFE: They test cosmetics on me.