@imskytrash: retweet this to electronically sign my petition to ban windmills worldwide . we've had enough bird casualties . and for what ?more wind ?
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@BoogTweets: Gordon Ramsey: tell me what you’ve made here Me: *placing my hand on his* an everlasting friendship
@d_duhwit: Wife*comes home*: What's that noise? Me: U said to give Tim an anvil Wife: ADVIL! He should be in bed Me: but..he's almost finished my sword
@Steven37366100: Banker: So, you’d like a loan, to start an all marsupial fighting championship? Me: Yes. I call it Mortal Wombat. Banker: Me: Banker: I’m in.
@TheCatWhisprer: *whispers to dog wearing a 'working dog, do not pet' vest* psst what time does your shift end?