Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars

You Might Also Like


I bet Melania Trump really regrets buying a speech off Craigslist now.


INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength?

ME: shape shifting

INTERVIEWER: is that so?


INTERVIEWER: holy shit


I will let someone cut the line I’m waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind.


socrates: the only thing I know is that I know nothing

me: aw, hey, don’t say that. you know stuff

socrates: no, I meant—

me: if you want I can teach you some things




me: *points* that’s a tree


“Regardless of what Newton said, gravity is really just a theory that you humans choose to accept as fact. If you simply refuse to take it as a given, then the whole paradigm shifts. Anyway Brenda, if you’ve got a minute, the litter in my box could really use a change.”


There was a time when men expected to be your lover without getting with your friends. That all changed in 1996. Let me tell you a story…


In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.


Those of you wondering what its like to be married: Just found out this morning I’m on day 3 of an argument I didn’t know I was having…


If you watch Titanic backwards, you are an idiot. That is not the way movies are meant to be watched.


[at seance]

Me: We call the spirit of my dead husband.

Ghost Husband: I’m here.

Me: Move the planchette to send a message to me on this ouija board.

Ghost Husband: Ok wait. That’s just a piece of paper that says “I’m sorry” and “you were right”