Rio just listed a slightly used Olympic stadium on eBay.

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Good for you, the 3 people trying to keep MySpace alive. Good. For. You.


me: *gritting my teeth* they will pay for this. you’ll see. they will ALL pay for this

waitress: okaaay… so separate checks then?


[walks up to guys playing basketball]
“mind if I join?”
you any good?
Hell yeah I’m good. Toss me the orange sphere


So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?


Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious