@TheTobbie: RIP is the LOL of dying...
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@disa_panda: Her: What did you do for fun in college? Me [remembers organizing 10,000 baseball cards in order of career batting average]: had sex, got high
@jazz_inmypants: my daughter, Alexa: my name is so annoying me: sorry honey in my defense u were born before it was a thing my son, Google Assistant: yea alexa give dad a break
@daemonic3: [road trip] ME: I'm hungry, let's stop and eat FRIEND: I see a 24 hour breakfast place ME: You idiot, we don't have that kind of time