When someone tell me , “long time no see” i usually reply, “I know, we’re really not that good of friends”
*rips finished page from adult coloring book*
*puts it on daughter’s toy kitchen fridge*
You Might Also Like
“I’m excited for the continental breakfast”
*sees a buffet just full of ice cubes*
Sign: Today’s Continent is Antartica
*putting a top hat on my dog*
Dog: *thinking* Like I don’t already have enough reasons to kill you in your sleep.
There is no “I” in the word “team,” but I don’t think that means anything about team work. That’s just how it’s spelled.
The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms and the 8th amendment gives us the right to horse legs
To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym “DBOF”:
Parents who have allowed your
8 yr olds to become spoiled brats …
We’ll check back in 10 years to see
how that worked out for you.
My goal was to have $10,000 saved by the end of 2018. Im already at $6.23
It hurts? That’s the body’s way of showing you it’s healing.
It doesn’t hurt? That’s the body’s way of showing you it’s healing.
Million dollar idea: an alarm clock that plays Nickelback if you hit snooze.