@radmarco: *romantically climbs into your balcony to ask for your wifi password*
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@daddydoubts: Me: ready to visit grandma? Toddler: YAY GRANDMA! why is momma crying? Me: she’s getting ready to visit grandma too.
@: Idk y men go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need
@Schmoodles: Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I ? Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.