@ShutUpThatsWho

[Rome]

CENTURION: please state your date of birth
CITIZEN: May I
CENTURION: yes
CITIZEN:
CENTURION:
CITIZEN:
CENTURION: when is it tho

You Might Also Like

@krustythe_klown

Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him… Like his hairy behind and his wife.

@thesulk

Hulu coming to PS3. Finally I can watch TV on my TV.

@IvoryGazelle

do singers know a song will be big beforehand? like that snow white hi-ho song, no way those lil’ dudes knew, they were just mining and shit

@AddledPixie

“Mommy, why does an old person’s skin look so see-through?”

Aw, honey, it’s just because they are getting ready to be a ghost. Sleep tight.

@mattsurely

If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you.

@miniwheats2012

The scary moment when the person you just watched sneeze in their hand wants to shake your hand

@JediGigi

Mom asked me what it’s like being a single middle aged woman so I took a handful of cat & dog hair from my purse and threw it in her coffee.