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@leftarmisme: Roses are red
Xanax is blue
When one just won't work
Go ahead and take two
@buttsword: lady: omg your puppy is so cute whats his name
me: laser guardian
@JRobb773: Welcome to my bed and breakfast. You have the choice of being buried in the attic or basement. Just kidding! The haunted dolls decide.
@MonkeyHeadNeb: [lost at sea]
Me: *sees giant shark* yeah, we're gonna -
Movie nerd: NEED A BIGGER BOAT?!
Me: - die.
@FriedWords: Just drank two 5-Hour Energy shots. Will I get 10 hours of energy? And why is that rainbow giggling at me? AndAHH MY SKIN IS ON INSIDE-OUT!