“Omg, I literally just died”
-people who literally don’t know what literally means
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It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
ALIEN 1: Be not afraid, human. We will do you no harm
ME: Will I like Area 51 if I haven’t seen Area 1 to Area 50?
ALIEN 2: Let’s grab a different one
*Person in front of me using 73 coupons*
Customers behind me: huffing and puffing
Me: [eyes glued to screen] That one was for $2! Yahhhhss
Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back.
Thank you for clarifying that you’d bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with.
‘I can quit anytime I want’ I mutter to myself everyday on my way work.
When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.
Victorian Era YouTube comments
One day my dad was outside watching a thunder and lightning storm and my mom brought him a metal chair to sit in.
A love story