@Twisted_Mettle: RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!! But the trees just stood there. Frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all.
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@Mom_Overboard: Therapist: and what do we do when we’re feeling sad? Me: put on a flowy duster and a fringed scarf and sing along to Landslide on repeat while we sway back and forth and channel the goddess Stevie Therapist [downloading Fleetwood Mac]: this session is on me
@theedgeofchris: Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
@WilliamRodgers: I turn 30 in like 4 and a half hours... I always said I'd retire from comedy if I hadn't "made it" by 30. ...So I've got like 4 hours left