@amishschool
@youngestneil
I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask “are we there yet?” when they’re fully aware they now live in a car
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@youngestneil
@tsm560
Her: I’m putting you in the dead zone
Me: Lol you mean the friend zone
Her: No
@FussySaffa
Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie
@shkeeber
Omg, I’m a huge fan!
-Windmills
@inojperez
[Family Dinner]
Me: Grandma, please pass the updog.
Sister: *Pinches bridge of her nose*
Grandma: What’s updog?
Me: Not much, how about you?
@hippieswordfish
You can’t believe it’s not butter? Buddy, almost everything is not butter
@Marlebean
My husband told me I cheated on him in his dream.
The best response was not “Was he hot?”
I know this now.
@bestestname
If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.
@Jake_Vig
If you have twin girls and don’t dress them like in “The Shining” and make them stand in hallways, you’ve squandered a precious gift.
@jabbins
Left my car for maybe 15 minutes in front of the dorms and I come back to this. College man
