@toomanycommas3: Russian roulette but it's just me eating jelly beans without looking at the color first.
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@dxxnya: me: i love sleepovers doctor: this isn’t a sleepover, you’re in the hospital me: then why do I have this nightgown doctor: that’s a hospital gown me: truth or dare doctor: me: doctor: dare
@nettie0918: My boss just informed me its unprofessional to tell customers congratulations when they call in to change last name due to divorce.
@NoogsCorner: To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones.