My children have acquired a keen sense for knowing exactly when I’m about to forget them at a store.
Sagittarius: A bad situation gets worse this week when your family refuses to pay the ransom.
You Might Also Like
I picked the wrong year to stop drinking.
– a Memoir
*getting turned away at airport security*
But these are my emotional support bees
My husband ate the rice I cooked for our new puppy and long story short his bags are packed.
A car with a car rack looked like a police car, so I slowed down, only to realize I had been tricked into obeying the law FOR NO REASON.
*Sneaks into men’s toilets*
I HEAR THERE’S CAKE IN HERE
The first time I bit into a Cadbury egg I understood women who spit.
son: Where’s mom? I need her to sign my permission slip
me: I can do it
son: My teacher said it has to be an adult
Little Old Lady: i want to put my house on the market
Realtor: ok, where is it?
Little Old Lady: um, right here
Realtor: thats… *sighs* thats a shoe
Little Old Lady: it’s my home
Realtor: do you at least have the other shoe?
Little Old Lady: i cant even afford this one