@Sorrowscopes: Sagittarius: A bad situation gets worse this week when your family refuses to pay the ransom.
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@ClichedOut: Society: Let's give mothers their very own day. Me: What about sharks? Society: We'll give them a whole week.
@0v3rthOught: Marty McFly: *plays Nickelback* Guess you guys aren't ready for that yet but your kids are gonna love it. *returns to the present to find a world without children*
@awkwardphilippe: [clown interview] Why become a professional clown? me: [picturing getting hit in the face with cream pies every day] um I like kids