@Not_a_JesusGirl: Santa is a smart guy. Visits people only once a year.
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@JermHimselfish: I hate when I find a show on TV that I like and I start to get into it and then I realize that it's my neighbor's window and he looks angry.
@mountainlex: I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
@_ElvishPresley_: CHIEF: say hi to ur new partner ME: new partner? If it's another duck– *goose with a badge waddles in* ME: okay but i'm driving this time
@VerbsRProudest: Never answer knocking at your door. It's always people. Always. Never giant chocolate bars. Only people.