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@ndiquote: Satan cannot be everywhere,
So Relatives were created..
@gurl_sour: Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included.
@SeanBlazed: How many pictures of the sky until we are satisfied as a people
@ThaJawn: *googles murder tips
*adds "asking for a friend" at the end of each search
They won't be able to prove a thing!
@murrman5: [sees wife getting changed after work] you should leave them high heels on
[thinking about the spider on the bathroom ceiling] yeah
@Writepop: "Oh man, you've got stretched lobes and piercings? I've got stretched lobes and piercings, too!"
"Sweet! We should hang out!"
- Ear buds