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@TheSharona06: Saying "unwanted houseguests" is redundant. I just call them houseguests.
@HenpeckedHal: Wife: "Sorry, but my OBGYN said no sex for six weeks after childbirth."
Me: "Oh, ok. What about..."
Wife: "My dentist said six weeks too."
@4SLars: I've got these gifted children and I want to know how long it is before I can re-gift them.
@noog: So the ex texted me
@daemonic3: Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral
Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
@BallsMcBallski: I wore a suit to Walmart and they made me their king.