@TheSharona06: Saying "unwanted houseguests" is redundant. I just call them houseguests.
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@flashember: [my daughter asks for her 2nd apple of the day] oh look it's the apple monster *fun growl sounds* DAUGHTER: daddy does God ever go hunting
@ShoutingGoddess: If I yawn, and the person talking says, 'Sorry for boring you', I graciously accept their apology. Because, manners.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: me: am I awake or dreaming a giant dragonfly, setting down his tea cup: honestly idk what this is
@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] "No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he'd lost a ladder."