@gobmentcheese: Scene in Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze lifts her in the air, only I drop you because there is a line beginning to form at the buffet.
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@CutCopyPasta: [Pet Store] Clerk: Ma'am what can I help you with today? Me: hi I'd like to buy this line C: You mean snake? M: Yes your largest worm please
@rudy_mustang: Every horse movie ever: people don’t think this horse can go fast but it do. it go real fast
@zachreinert03: The word tag is confusing. It can mean spray paint or touch someone & they're it. Either way, there's a purple kid in my neighborhood now
@ValeeGrrl: Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud.