ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby
3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend
Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes.
Mineralogy? Study of minerals.
Oceanology? Study of oceans.
Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS.
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I just want someone that can draw perfect circles. No weird Os
Just got a job opening demanding 13-18 yrs of experience in iOS development.
Do they realize that the platform itself is 8 years old?
gas pump: do you want a receipt? Y/N
me: *presses yes*
me: *pressing harder* YES
gas pump: lol nope
*Thunder, lightning and buckets of rain outside the window*
Spouse: “Hand me my phone so I can check the weather.”
“You’re not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why.” – Magazines
my dad has had enough
Chief Squirrel: everyone, I suspect someone among us is an infiltrator
Chief Squirrel: (solemnly) that’s what we’re trying to find out Owen
if i had a girlfriend id show her the best monkey videos