@timdonakowski: "Scolding a cat after it does something wrong has been proven ineffective" - cats
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@Hella_Rad: sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something
@roxiqt: Here is a little money saving tip that I've learned: If you spend all of your money on tattoos, then technically, your money will be with you forever.
@TheMichaelRock: Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!
@robdelaney: Ever see a plane flying toward the moon & it looks like it's gonna hit it & then it does & the oceans boil & wolves take over?