@stevevsninjas: Aragorn: If I can protect you, I will. You have my sword Legolas: And you have my bow Gimli: and my axe Steve: and my 439 Twitter followers

@better_off_dad: Me: 'I miss you.' The Point: 'No shit.'

@longwall26: If someone you know is stressed out, be sure to tell them they need to relax. You'd be surprised how many people hadn't thought of that.

@AceMakesWords: "Dad, we need to talk." "Alright." He grabs a chair and sits. "Dad, you-" He grabs yet another chair. "DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"

@Michael1979: WARNING: Local youths in the park are claiming to be tax inspectors & are issuing fines for €70 in "gullibility tax". DO NOT PAY. Turns out there's no such tax. When you go back to confront them, they say they can't do refunds without a tax receipt. THEY NEVER GAVE ME A RECEIPT