@Holy_Mowgli

scrabbled eggs

You Might Also Like

@Kyle_Lippert

Researchers have found why bears hibernate. “They’re sad due to a break up” said one. “It’s been a year Brent. Move on. I have” said another

@sofarrsogud

Not to brag, but I can cure my wife’s insomnia just by taking my clothes off.

@GirlfriendHaver

When you set up a LAN for an 8 yr old kid’s birthday party at and then they ask you to play

@pixelatedboat

You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I’ve got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears

@Pundamentalism

To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You’re a bad person.

@kissimoose

So a 12 year old told me it’s a good idea to have a bourbon cake. I’ll take no questions at this time.

@daemonic3

Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.

@weinerdog4life

I hate when people talk to me while I’m using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like “Sir this is a display model at Home Depot”

@aissalanis

I accidentally bought organic milk instead of regular and now my family is so broke we are forced to live in a shack and make clothes out of recycled hair.