There are 3 types of pain… 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!
Screw you, targeted Facebook ad for adult diapers!
*thinks about not having to pause TV or games*
You Might Also Like
I came to the library to find some answers but leave with only questions…
your elf on the shelf was delicious
I hate it when the neighbor’s dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Sure! What’s your name?
“Uhh. I don’t know. I never get this far”
You don’t know your name?
*sweats* Pants are cool
Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say “I love you,” she’s talking to our dog.
Me: Me and the wife are heading to pound town.
Wife: London. He means London.
Shout out to the top 5 suits in the world, 3-piece, zoot, swim, law and birthday.