@IGotsSmarts: Searching for stuff on the internet when you're drunk is called Beer Googles.
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@BiIIMurray: I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
@TheHyyyype: HER: my friend katie is single again ME: so's my buddy dave, we should set them up HER: yes! [later] DAVE AND KATIE [talking to the cops]: we swear we were framed!
@Jazzzzzmina: After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.