@thatdutchperson
@FU_TangClan
The life cycle of pickles:
Day 1: Wife buys pickles
Day 1: I eat picklesDay 2: I replace pickles
Day 2: I eat picklesDay 3: Wife notices missing pickles
Day 3: Both buy pickles
Day 3: I eat pickles
You Might Also Like
@FU_TangClan
@WeekendTwitr
Get noticed by more companies on LinkedIn by adding af to the end of all of your job titles.
@UncleDuke1969
“Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?”
– Karen
@GrantTanaka
[carrying sleeping cat out of burning house]
seriously, what purpose do you serve
@AimeeHelene1
DON’T make this weird…
(I whisper in your ear, as I pet your eyebrows)
@Ygrene
The trick to doing crimes is to wait until after 5pm when all the police have gone home for the day
@sixfootcandy
Insurance company: We need you to fax us the paperwork.
Me: Sure. Let me jump in my DeLorean and drive back to 1987.
@roboticcrab
what if when Dracula’s fangs came out they made that truck backing up noise
@MiddleageM
Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet