@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
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@ExcuseMyTweets: The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets
@Sophie2078: Guy: I want a divorce. Me: And who are you? Guy: I’m your husband! We live together for 6 years! Me: Hmm.. No way! Are you sure?
@iwearaonesie: toddler *begs me to take him to get ice cream* me: Ok [standing in line] me: Do you know what do you want? toddler: Chicken nuggets