@TheBoydP: Serious question. How does my local grocery store keep figuring out my favorite brand or flavor of a product so they can stop carrying it?
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@omgshuddup: Him "I like you" Me: "Meh, give it five days. Him: "No I really like you" Me: "okay. Ten." Narrator * It would, in fact, take 4.
@Kristen_Arnett: the man next to me at this airport bar just sent at least 30 cry laugh emojis to a person in a text while he sat stoically drinking a heineken
@novicefather: I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years.